“You’re Sexy” had always been one of the hardest compliments for me to accept. You’re pretty, you’re cute, you’re beautiful all those were understandable because I knew they were complimenting my face or my body but sexy was a bit more difficult to decipher. Growing up I never knew the exact meaning of the term sexy sure the media aims to teach us their marketed definition of sexy but I knew from an early age it was more than that. The latin media outlets portrayed voluptuous curvy women as sexy, but on the other side of the spectrum growing up in the 90’s every fashion magazine was telling me heroin chic was sexy. You can see how a young girl can grow up confused.
A couple of years ago I was in a cab with some girlfriends on a night out. The cab driver in an attempt at small talk complimented us on our sexy. He continued to chat us up and the conversation lead to women and body shape in relation to sexiness. I must have protested being called sexy because then my naturally size 0 friend said to me “No YOU are fine! Me I’m sexy” Her definition of sexy was clearly based on size and body shape. By no means did I agree with with her idea of sexy but her comment gave me plenty to think about.
In an attempt to understand what sexy is I asked myself what it truly meant to be sexy? I not only asked myself this question but I surveyed most of my male friends. After all my surveying I was left with so many answers each one more different than the next. The male perception of sexy was far more complex than I had expected it to be. The majority of my male friends listed funny, smart and sensible as their top requisites for sexiness . Not one said skinny girls are sexy or lingerie straight out the pages of playboy is sexy, in fact most of those things were never mentioned. The majority of my male friends said they find their women extremely sexy in shorts or sweats and a t-shirt no jewelry or make up needed. Perhaps it’s because when we are at home in sweats with no make up, no extras we are in our most natural state. We are comfortable with this person, we have opened up and have allowed this person to see us without all the protective layers we put on and THAT is sexy.
The term sexy was never something I wanted to associate myself with. It had always been the hardest compliment to accept but that was because I never fully understood what it meant to be sexy. Society and the media has tried to brainwash women into thinking sexy consist of clothes that leave little to the imagination, size 0 women and women who dumb themselves down until their IQ matches that of their favorite reality star. But what society and the media doesn’t want you to know is that confidence is sexy. Being smart is sexy. A strong woman is sexy. Reading is sexy. Having goals and dreams is sexy. Having a sense of humor is sexy. Being clean is sexy. Carrying yourself respectfully is sexy. Having ambition is sexy. Being classy is sexy. Loving yourself is sexy. Smelling good is sexy. Smiling is sexy. Being sexy is an attitude, a state of being, it’s a compilation of actions and attributes. So be sexy! Reclaim the term and what it truly means because it has been yours all along.
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